steven mlgverse
by badfurry
Summary: yo what would happen if the most mlg pro of gems met steven universe and shit would that be fucked up or what lol XDDDD
1. Chapter 1

A long time ago on a triggering homeworld, four tru mlg gems would rise up and rebel

Homeworld was shit m8. like, tumblr everywhere cuz everything was blue XD also white feminists and people who have never left their parent's basement. One gem named Doritoite was eating doritos in his basement playing call of duty and quicksc0ping n00bs. there was a knock at the door and two gems put a printed out superwholock tumblr post on his mouth and he was out. (like chloroform or something)

l8r or something idk

Doritoite came to and was tied up with gem tech, there were three other gems in his position. A gem with green hair and a marijuana shaped gem on her stomach who looked dank af. another gem who looked to be a noscoping pro with a dick shaped gem. the last female was green and reminded him of his ex, mountaindewite. the giant blue land whale spun around from blogging. This was the leader of homeworld, sjwite.

"State your name privileged fuckers" she said oh… wait sorry sjwite is foxkin. fox's pronouns are fox/foxs/foxself please respect their pronouns uwu.

"Kushite" the weed one said

Sjwite nodded, foxs fat cascading down foxs body

"Xx_faZeclan_xXite" said the noscoper.

"that can't be your real name you blithering cishet!" sjwite roared.

"u wot m8" Xx_faZeclan_xXite said

"i'm Mountaindewite, and the dorito one is Doritoite" added Mountaindewite.

"okay, since you asses of holes cannot fathom the disrupt you have caused on this perfect community, you must be doxxed! ADMINS!" several superwholocks dragged the mlg dream gem team into a ship and fired them towards earth.


	2. steven mlgverse2 the second one

**ok listen up scrubs. beach city is now xXx_beachcity420_xXx and Shrek is steven's mom instead of rose quartz. ok, lets do this shit.**

It was a swag af day in xXx_beachcity420_xXx and steven universe and Xx_faZeclan_xXite were playing COD and Xx_faZeclan_xXite was teaching steven universe how to quicksc0pe because steven was still a little n00b and doritoite and mountaindewite were looking for shrek. Kushite was smoking weed in the kitchen. a loud explosion was heard at the xxx_warp pad69_xxx and my hope will never die was playing.

"Oh boy! Doritoite and Mountaindewite are back!" Steven said

"Yes u cheeky scrub" Xx_faZeclan_xXite said

Mountaindewite and Doritoite had not found Shrek but they came back with some swamp mud and onions.

"bruhhh wtf where is Shrek" kushite asked.

every1 ignored kushite b/c kushite is a fookin stoner

0OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGET REKT OMFGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BABY A TRIPLE OOOHHH YEAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

a crash was heard outside and so was an airhorn. the gems and steven went outside to find a large airhorn monster making a rek.

"steven stay back we don't want u getting rekt"

loud dubstep played and several explosions happened as the gems got out their weapons. Mountaindewite went toward the airhorn monster and began throwing explosive bottles of mountain dew at the thing. doritoite threw a dangerously large dorito at the monster too. and kushite was whacking the airhorn with her blunt and Xx_faZeclan_xXite was quickscoping the monster. steven was anger.

"I AM AN MLG GEM TOO!" and several onions came out of his gem and killed the monster XD

the mlg gems looked at steven in horror and steven knew he was about to get rekt.


	3. steven and the mlgems 3: review pls

**ok guys pls review to feed the starving pepes thank you lord bless 1 review=1 dorito**

The mlgems(thats the new mlg pro gem squad name u wot m8) looked at steven with horror. yes the monster had been rekt but there was one mystery remaining (illuminati confirmed) that was…

WHAT THE SHREK JUST HAPPENED?

"steven.,,,, u possess the power of shrek. only ur mother could shoot onions out of her stomach XDDD" said Xx_faZeclan_xXite.

"SO THAT;S WHY WE COULDNEVER FIND SHREK U FOOKIN QUICKSCOPED HIM DIDN'T U M8" shouted mountaindewite who was restrained by kushite.

"no i didn't! i'm too much of a scrub to quickscope irl!" steven was crying because he was confused.

"omfg y'all chill. smoke weed everyday XD" kushite muttered as she lit up her 420th blunt of the day.

"Kushite is right. We can smoke weed after we sort out everything. Steven ur mom was a great and powerful ogre with a mighty roar named Shrek. Shrek must have sacrificed himself while giving birth to you." Doritoite explained. "Now lets go inside and smoke our blunts.

Kushite, Mountaindewite, Doritoite, Xx_faZeclan_xXite, and Steven went inside to get that dank ass kush.

While the day was swag af, more shit was gonna happen XD


	4. steven mlgverse4: shit gets kawaii

**A/N: ok since you hecksters requested more otherkin and dank memes i'm gonna do it XD**

it was many days later and the mlgems were in ohio on a mission to eat corn idk what they do in ohio they're all rednecks and shit lmao. kushite and doritoite gave steven $420.69 to get food and shit. Steven decided to walk on the beach and savage for norishment. He climbed on all fours with the money in his mouth and galloped toward the big donut where there was also a furry convention

Steven walked in on his hind legs and went to the counter. blazeitLARS was wearing a neon pink and green wolf fursuit. sadie wasn't there b/c in this au she tours with DMX and writes his verse and shes dope af.

"blazeitLARS wtf are you wearing are you a fucking furry u nasty pedo shithead lol" steven said

"no i'm otherkin... yes i'm a furry and i'm proud of it. furries have had a strong presence at many historical events such as stonewall and fight for equality. i'm dressed as my wolfsona, XXXdarkmoonprinceXXX." blazeitLARS said

"wow usual i'm not a SJW but furries have had no presence at LGBT+ events such as stonewall and they may be oppressed but they also fuck animals and are pedophiles XD and wolves don't even come in that color u dumb shite make me a sandwich lol" and blazeitLARS made steven a sandwich.

steven left and went on the boardwalk and ate the doritos and weed sandwich. he saw a really pretty girl on the boardwalk . she had dark skin and glasses, she wore a wolf tail and cat ears and was dressed up as haruhi suzualksdjklfskalk;asjdwhateverherfuckingnameis from that one shitty anime. she exuded an air of kawaiiness and smelled like stale pocky and body odor and steven thought she was sexy af.

"hey sexy.. ur sexy XD" steven said to her

"my name is not sexy u baka. its connie-chan. i just moved here desu~"connie said.

"my name is steven. its dank to meet u connie-chan. do you wanna hang out? there's gonna be a drag show in town lets go!"

 **leaving it on a cliffhanger b/c fukk u is why top kek**


	5. Chapter 5: steven gets laid

**I fucking hate all of you this fic makes me want to kms**

During the drag show steven realized something.

Connie was a piece of shit weeaboo.

"Connie ur a piece of shit weeaboo everytime you say sugoi I want to kms" boom. #rekt

"Steven ur such a baka XD" steven wanted to shit in her mouth but not in a sexual way no homo

"okay first off you don't say baka that's what 45 year old men who fuck body pillows say. you say that's fucking retarted u baka" steven clamly explained

"oh gee thank you for enlitening me. dew (HAHA GET IT MOUNTAIN DEW BTCH) you have any plans later?" she asked

"idk tonight imma be hanging out with a hot piece of ass" steven noscoped.

and then they walked on the beach and steven taught her how to noscope the end

 **fuck you**


End file.
